GrapeScape

Because I’m a scamp, I often have play fights in the kitchen whilst cooking dinner. Tonight I was in a serious headlock situation when I realised my best option was to bite (unsporting, I know). My sparring partner vowed revenge.

A little while later I’m in my room when he creeps in, brandishing a box of matches. “I’m going to set you on fire” he says quietly. It takes several tries to light a match, until he advances towards me, flame flickering. I cower, but see my chance - the flame is slowly eating its way along the match towards his fingers. He realises he’s about to get burnt and hastily extinguishes it. He lights another and neatly deposits in my drink!

He takes a swig of the drink and puffs out his cheeks. The temptation to splatt my hands on his face is too strong, but I am smart and decide to do it behind so the juice doesn’t go all over me. I pop his cheeks, but no liquid sprays out - he must have swallowed it already. I think I am safe when he turns round and spits a gob-full of orange squash in my face.

“I think we should work on training the belugas.”

My heart stopped mid-sentence.

Anonymous asked: What do you even see in your boyfriend?

HI THERE.

Errr, isn’t it obvious? He’s pretty much The Perfect Man. I always thought that whoever managed to ensnare him would be very lucky (woah confessions), but it didn’t occur to me until last year that it might be me. So YAY FOR ME THEN.

It’s so nice to meet a man who actually makes sense, is ridiculously entertaining, is nice and friendly AND is also a sexy specimen. Seriously dude, this guy is awesome sauce.

There’s more I could write about admirable qualities and compatibility, but that’s enough for now methinks.

I hate the word methinks. Why did I even use it. I’m not Jar Jar Binks.

I’ve always been interested in space, and tonight I got to do a bit of star gazing. My dad recently bought a telescope, and tonight we took advantage of what will probably be the only clear night while I’m home. 

Here’s what could be seen at 9pm. The bright “star” is Venus and the one that you can just about make out Jupiter nearer the horizon.

Jupiter took about a minute to move across the telescope view, due to the Earth hurtling through space. Here’s an artist’s impression of what I could see of Jupiter and 4 of its biggest moons, which I identified and later looked up to confirm that I am indeed very clever when it comes to Jovian identification:

We then set our sights on Venus, and whilst locating it, we found that Pleiades was visible in the telescope’s finderscope (it was not yet visible to the naked eye). I hastily counted over 20 stars, which was a fair few more than the time I was able to make out 13 that I thrillingly observed with my naked eye when I was 13 years old.

Venus looked something  like this:

Sorry for the appalling picture, my mousepad/MS Paint skills are poor. The prongs coming off its back indicate that it was all glowy and bright. The reason it’s a crescent is because the sun was below it (i.e. beneath the horizon) with respect to us, and the image you see in the telescope is inverted.

It clouded over before I got a look at Mars, but if it clears up I will go out later tonight.

I’ll probably update this entry with more details some other time, but I just wanna sleep right now tbh.

for Valentine’s day. When you live with him. When you’re at work all day and he barely has any lectures because he’s a bloody slacker. IN 10 EASY STEPS.

1. Memorise his lecture timetable. Come home from work early so that you have 50 minutes alone in the house while he’s at a lecture.

2. Bloody hell, he’s still home when you get back from work. Already prepared an excuse for being back early: “I have work to do that’s best done at home rather than the lab “

3. He’s left. Good. Action stations. 50 minutes and counting.

4. Make brownies. Close kitchen door so chocolate smell doesn’t permeate house.

5. Brownies come out of oven with 15 minutes to spare.

6. CLEAN EVERYTHING. DRY EVERYTHING. REMOVE FLOUR FROM HAIR.

7. Fry curry powder in a saucepan to completely kill any smelly hint of baked goods. This is extremely odorous and fills the entire house.

8. 6 minutes left. Take brownies into room to cool/slice up. Unfortunately your room now smells of brownies. BE PREPARED: I have a strongly scented scented candle to burn. “Chocolate? Yeah, that’s my candle!” Girls love candles.

9. 1 minute to spare. Put brownies in tub and hide in wardrobe.

10. Welcome home darling!

My housemates and I have just ordered 6 build-it-yourself speed Rubik’s cubes. Between 4 of us

We’ve spent a good 15 minutes watching reviews on YouTube and have just placed our order.

We are all very excited.